lumberlady | Noctium

Good day! It's Constantin!

I have, as requested, tried your generously given food, and I have come with my commentary. Are you ready?

[Let It Begin]

[somewhere in the Greatmoon Groves in a converted barn... a displaced jinba mare who is very used to cooking for several many people with multiple stomachs and might also just really miss providing that manner of care to people... perks up immediately]

CONSTANTIN, greeting!
you try 🍚?
i is eager to hear result!

please give！

I have indeed! In fact, I am clean out of rice dishes already!

First, the "red bean": Nyskie ate all of this one, actually, but she seemed to enjoy it very much.

[did he say the beans looked weird so she swooped in? this may have happened. maybe she just stole it. who knows.]

The chicken: Excellent! Although perhaps less asparagus in the future.

The other one: Overwhelming!

finish already?
shock!
i no think CONSTANTIN and roommate have such large stomach?

[didn't she do the math for two people... ? maybe she needs to rethink...]

ared bean is for celebration!
so i send another to celebrate miss NYSKIE liking so much?
but this time please tell miss NYSKIE to let you try also
is for celebration for good reason!
delicious!

i am glad you like meat one! CONSTANTIN looks like is needing meat
vegetable choice is much easy to change
which you like most?

OVERWHELMING?
good way? bad way?

Edited 2021-08-11 06:32 (UTC)

I shared. But yes, please send more of the beans, I will do my level best to get a mouthful in this time.

[without picking the beans out, maybe. probably.]

How do I look like I need meat? I am very diligently consuming vitamin B!
That said, mushrooms are quite nice.

The third one has too many things in it.

[uh oh, he's 5]

share with other?
tell i how many other and i send enough next time so all can have full belly
rice should be full
is why rice is so good

which VITAMIN is B one?
meat VITAMIN?
CONSTANTIN has much slim face!

i use five vegetable for three number
three more good number for not hurt stomach?
could use more mushroom here also...

Including Nyskie and myself, three of us. All things considered I doubt I have an especially large stomach.

[he gets by on very little already... but oh, he has a slim face, which is some kind of meat related problem?? who decided this]

Vitamin B is for something or other that doctors are very concerned about, I've forgotten. I will ask the next time I share your lovely rice!
What is wrong with my face?

Let's try three and see how it goes!

[fewer things... to pick at...]

three!
i understand! will send three person amount next time for room mates

doctor is concerned for you?
should listen to doctor
they is usual much smart people

nothing wrong with face!
is respectably handsome face
just slim!
so needs meat

[she doesn't make the rules, Constantin??? don't u wanna get ripped? or like, sliiightly more ripped?]

three!
next mushroom, bamboo, mountain herb

how goes fish?
stomach likes fish?

Oh, he isn't my roommate. But he is a clever little doctor, so he will remember what on earth these vitamins are supposed to be for.

My face usually receives excellent reviews! I should hate to tamper with it now, even if it is merely "respectably handsome."

[mess with this cheekbones formula?? pure foolish talk!!]

I think stomach likes fish, but are there not uncountably many? I haven't tried every fish.

oh three number person is CONSTANTIN ‘s doctor?
yes is custom in i’s home also
to share food one has with doctor when visit
i undertake important task!

no! respectably handsome is good review!
is coming from not lover
and also not same species!
so should be counting double! possible triple?

[Now that’s math!]

yes is many!
thinking noise
river fish? mackerel from ocean?
how is these?

Edited 2021-08-11 07:05 (UTC)

No, not that.
Well, yes. I've also been seeing him.

[no, wait, he sees it, he can nip this one in the bud:]

Relationship-seeing. And he is also a doctor, and gives me vitamin Bs.

Respectably handsome is triple the worth but my face is still too slim? Your standards are impossibly high!

[thinking noise... heh.]

Fish from the ocean, yes. We had plenty of ocean fish at home, I'm quite accustomed to it.

[Konoha was indeed about to be confused, because you see doctors when they visit you??? Good call, Constantin.]

connection!
CONSTANTIN 's relationship person
boyfriend? lover? friend who has benefits?
is also doctor!

[She got there, wow reading is tough... practice is so important]

is not standard!
is wife sense
and
maybe slightly some of i 's taste for handsome qualities
if CONSTANTIN see husband
CONSTANTIN would understand

and try fish from ocean in rice next time
ocean style meal
seaweed flake also!
good for you

Boyfriend who is also doctor, yes. Like that.

I imagine your husband looks nothing like me whatsoever, and also eats more meat than I do.
What is a wife sense?

[How is that different from her personal taste...!]

Seaweed flake? Why would I put the thing that touches my ankles in the sea into my food?

[please explain!!!]

[oh phew, he supplies the right term... there's so many potential ones here... "boyfriend" it is!!!]

doctor!
CONSTANTIN must has much smart person for boyfriend

well
hair color is close to husband 's coat color
but this is where similar thing stops, yes
husband is most big jinba i ever see
much much strong
can even lift i!
in arms! not just on back!

[/dreamy sigh...]

wife sense is what tell i
oh!
should feed CONSTANTIN
oh!
this person need comfort!
oh!
this child is in want of mothering.
oh!
he no say but something is wrong with husband.
wife sense!!

you no eat like that!
take out and dry long and well
make very thin!
then make small small flakes
to put in food for flavor

or take kelp
and pickle!

Oh, quite exquisitely intelligent, yes. Very strong brain.

He sounds impressive? Sturdy.

[This is a compliment... he's trying, but he hasn't seen enough jinba to picture Big Jinba Man accurately at all.]

Wife sense! I see. I've never heard of "wife sense" before, but I understand the concept, yes.

What does dried seaweed taste like?
Pickled is going to be too much for me, I'm afraid.

good quality! how is meeting?

yes yes much sturdy.
strong body and strong heart and strong father sense
also not speaking much and i speaking so much
so match is good

[don't make her whip out the memirror]

anow you understand wife sense!
possible CONSTANTIN has noble sense!
or some other sense.

taste is salt-like but not too salt-like?
if balance is good
pickle too much?
even 浅漬けあさづけasazuke?
light pickling?
or bran pickle?

He came to my house and took my bagels, mostly with permission.

I'm glad you've got a good match! He must be very special to be all of those things. And sturdy.

[Does he have a noble sense... He has a bullshit sense, that must be the one. Yeah, alright.]

There are other kinds of pickled?

wait so
meeting for doctor visit?
CONSTANTIN you need eat much more so badly???

[DID HE FAINT???]

yes
is most special
is why i ask to make wife
if was here...
no would be bad
husband hate city more than i do
scared of human more than i do
but would be nice for company...

[/slaps her cheeks, no, he'd hate it here!!!!]

yes there is many type CONSTANTIN!
light pickle
bran pickle
sake lees pickle
miso pickle!

What? No. I had bagels. Bagels are food.

[WAS there also blood taken in a bathroom... maybe. But bagels!! Real food, bagels!]

I suppose if he were here, you could always move further away from the city. Whitegrave, perhaps.

That's far too many types. Which of those is the least offensive to every one of my senses?

oh!
CONSTANTIN offers bagels
bagel date is popular type of date?

no is
was much selfish thing to wish or say
please forget
husband should stay at home in belonging place
take care of daughter

i no even list each every type
all is good
but for CONSTANTIN
possible lightly-pickled is most safe
only pickle three days.

Honestly, I have no idea what types of dates are popular. Your guess is as good as mine!

Oh.
Yes, alright. We needn't talk about that idea anymore.

I have another suggestion, urgently: what if there were no pickled things?

i will remember bagel date
but possible change to muffin date
of other world BREADs
i like muffin most
with berry

yes
thank you
i will just see husband in magic mirror when missing
no need to make suffer here

but CONSTANTIN
pickles is good for stomach and toilet problem?
should try to conquer taste!

[she doesn't know what a probiotic is she just knows what old ladies say!]

Good luck on your muffin dates? I will try that myself, as soon as I acquire some muffins.

[Anyway, magic mirror, very cool, he's scheduled time to be sad at his every day now, but HOLD ON.....]

I don't have a toilet problem.

no need luck
should not even have dates
but this world is
like this
so
i remember muffins...

please buy ones with berries is best kind

[they can just go stare at them morosely for a bit later...]

stomach problem is going up type?
not going down type?
i change strategy

Which kind of berries?

[Watch in awe as he does not answer the question.... mysterious..... fantasy IBS is embarrassing, which kind of berries.]

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Food Reviews Ep. 1

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