lumberlady | Prismatica IC Contact

[Nina finds herself relaxing already. Something about Konoha just has that effect on her. She's so much more genuine and unflinchingly kind than most of the people Nina knows. Honestly, part of her is afraid someone is going to take advantage of that. One thing at a time, though.

She thanks Konoha with a smile, hesitating before she sits.]

I wanted to talk to you because...

[How do you even talk to someone about this?]

Matthias told me what happened. Looking back on our last conversation, it seems like you wanted to tell me, too.

[How do you talk to someone about this? Even though she’d been half expecting it, Konoha isn’t sure herself. Her only experience thus far was walking in on Gonta punching Matthias halfway across a clearing and having to try to understand what led to such a thing while stood angrily between them, so...

“Not like that” is her only real guideline right now.

Even her own attempt to thank the woman who had assisted her husband during a moon cycle when she’d let him out of her sight hadn’t quite gone how she’d hoped, (apparently thanking other women for that was weird???? so???)

So Konoha just stands there torn a moment, fretting over how to respond, before-

Oh. The food!]

Ah! One second!

Edited 2019-10-25 05:48 (UTC)

[Knowing her own tendency for getting a bit too reactionary, Konoha is glad for the quick distraction, disappearing a moment only to come back with a tray of deliciously fresh food in her hands, rice with pickled vegetables, simmered meat and potatoes, hot soup... but she sets it to the side and instead lumbers slowly to her belly to bring herself down to Nina’s level.

Okay, deep breath.

Despite being seen by most people as “half” of one thing and another, she moves equine and human looking parts seamlessly, setting her palms on the veranda between them, forelegs held in a slightly open bend to mimic how the humans of her world bowed while sitting, flexible spine putting her forehead nearly to the floor in apology.]

I’m sorry, Miss Nina... You’re right. I wanted to, but I- I thought for sure Matthias would tell you himself, so I didn’t want to say anything before he got the chance to explain it to you how he wanted to...

[Lifting her head a bit, she searches the other woman’s face to look for reaction to guide her, brow pinched a bit in worry.]

I hope that was the right decision... ?

[Nina blinks, taken aback by... Well, all of it, but the bow most of all. It's such a demonstrative thing that she doesn't know how to respond to it.]

I probably would have thought he was trying to hide it from me if you told me first.

[So, yes, it was the right decision. And though Nina isn't upset with Matthias, and she certainly isn't upset with Konoha, it all feels... Strange to her. Strange enough that she barely glances at the food, which would be a worrying thing to anyone who knows her.]

Is that the real reason your husband punched him?

[That does sound like a “yes”... So Konoha lifts her head a bit more off the veranda wood, though she’s still noticeably sway backed in order to keep her head lower than Nina’s was, unconsciously keeping with her culture’s sense of respect and shame that played out all too obviously in things like the space between, in heights and deferences.]

It is...

[She’d honestly been terrified Gonta might kill him by accident... Matthias was a brick of a man by her standards for humans, but... Gonta was a mountain by jinba standards, and the memory of the stitches and bruising on Matthias’ face after makes her wince.]

I don’t... I didn’t come in until I heard the punch, but I- My husband had just arrived, and I hadn’t figured out how to explain it all yet... I thought maybe I’d wait for the moon cycles so he could understand those first, but I guess Matthias wanted to apologize, and he said something about not treating me properly... told him he could punch him or something foolish like that...

[“Men...” she will just keep to herself for a moment, biting on her bottom lip a little bit in recollection, the way her hearts had both clenched to see the angry lines of shoulders and back turned to her, the way with a human? had sounded.]

I can’t ask Gonta to apologize for that, though- I’m sorry. I just did my best to help after.

Edited 2019-10-25 06:39 (UTC)

[Men indeed. Nina rolls her eyes at the thought, tracing the rim of her glass absently.]

Of course he did. Sometimes he's absolutely dense about his honor.

[And how many times have she and Inej shared a judgmental glance or a quiet sigh over something stupid Kaz or Matthias decided to pull? Too many to count. But maybe Nina should get something else out of the way first.]

I'm not angry with you.

You’re not? Oh, thank goodness-

[There isn’t a duplicitous bone in Konoha’s body. And she had a lot more bones than most. Her emotions and worries play out clear as day on her face and in her body language, and the moment Nina says she isn’t angry...

She relaxes almost immediately, one hand peeling from the veranda to rest on her thundering auxiliary heart, sagging a bit in relief as a tentative smile breaks back through.]

I really hoped you weren’t...

[Nina smiles back automatically, shrugging a shoulder.]

It isn't your fault.

[And it isn't Matthias' fault, either. Nina's emotions have just been a tangled mess since Matthias' death, and not even the routine of the Little Palace and her training have made her feel anything close to normal. All of this is just enhancing those feelings. Nina hesitates just for a second before continuing.]

It's just... strange, you know? All of this.

No, no- It is! It really is...

[“Strange” didn’t even begin to cover it... And it might be easy to just let it be there, but after a little pause Konoha realizes she can’t. She’s not about to ask Nina to punch her, she didn’t feel guilt that way, not that could be resolved in such a way, at least, but...]

Just... please don’t be too mad at him, either? If it was anyone’s “fault” it was more mine... and- and once he remembered you, he left right away! Promise!

[And sure... that hadn’t been fun for her, but. “Love” was basically the only decent excuse she could think of for it.]

[Oh, boy. Matthias hadn't really given her details, and so she's pulled up short even by the tiny bits Konoha is giving her.]

I'm not angry at him, either. What do you mean, right away?

[Oh... Had he... not? Konoha sort of imagined he’d potentially painfully overshare... Did this make her the oversharer?

Her cheeks grow just a bit red, but it’s hard to see with the light bay tone of her skin.]

Oh, just... You know... Men don’t really, um, think right until they... finish. So. When he... finished?

[She’s not had many women friends... what level of explicit was normal for lady friends????]

[Nina has never considered anything "explicit" in her life, but at that she still lets out a soft, strained noise. Maybe it's still difficult to think about.]

Right.

[Has Nina ever had sex with anyone? Nope. Does she know how to process this? Absolutely not. She's not sure if she should feel touched that Matthias left when he remembered her, offended that it took him so long to, or offended on Konoha's behalf that he apparently ditched her. To save herself from trying to find something intelligent to say, she just tries the tea. Much less room for error there.]

B- but, really, don’t worry...

[Oh, no... okay... Konoha doesn’t know what she’s doing, but she thinks? that tea drinking isn’t a good reaction... but which part of that wasn’t good? Konoha certainly had been flattered when her own husband admitted that the reason he’d gotten into the situation that led to him accidentally being with someone else had been on account of trying to do something nice for her...

Maybe that was weird? Or maybe Nina just... wanted some reassurance?]

Nothing, um... he didn’t even. You know- It was mostly me, so-

[Konoha anxiously looks between the other woman’s much more shapely figure and her own rump, hands drifting up to cup her cheeks as if that could contain the warmth in them, the tiniest bit of shame she still felt sometimes at the idea that someone might find her body inhuman, when... sure she wasn’t human but, she also wasn’t an animal....]

[Making herself dizzy with overthinking, Konoha suddenly hangs her head instead, retreating back to the safety of bowing again, near comically conking her forehead against the floor, muttering another apology.]

A- Am I just making it worse? Please stop me if I am...

[Nina suddenly feels awful, and she shakes her head, setting down the tea again.]

No, no, Konoha, it's not... You're not making anything worse. You don't have to bow.

[She takes a deep breath, tangling her fingers in her lap, not sure how much she should say. Nina forces herself to continue, quiet and hesitant.]

We barely had any time together before he was killed. I thought this would be an easy second chance, but nothing is ever that simple.

[She says she doesn't have to, so Konoha does raise her head... but seeing the conflict on the other woman's face doesn't alleviate her worry, and without thinking she reaches out to take her hands, squeezing encouragingly.]

It may be strange here, but... it can be simple if you want..

[Or maybe that only worked for simple brained people? The way Matthias talked about her, Konoha had just always assumed that Nina was smarter than her, so maybe it wouldn't work, but.]

I know it can be embarrassing to talk about, but ever since I talked to Gonta about what we should do it's been much better, so-

[So... so...

She tries to smile, but for some reason it doesn't come out. Her body reacts before her brain can, tightening up in shock, eyes widening, head raising- until she realizes what Nina actually said.]

Before- Before what?

[No, that couldn't be. She must not have heard right.]

[Nina blinks at Konoha, not sure why she's having that reaction, unless...

Oh, no. Oh, Matthias. Her heart drops.]

...He hasn't told you?

[It's not like she hasn't met people before who claimed to be dead in their own worlds. It had disturbed her at first, because... did that mean they were ghosts? Or zombies? Who was she talking to? But eventually... like with most everything she had trouble with, Konoha just simplified it.

If they were dead in their home worlds, then these other worlds were just another chance for them! And they were alive here, so that was all that mattered. Right? Simple.

But-]

That... he's dead?

[She just didn't think Matthias was one of them. And suddenly... some things he's said are starting to make a lot more sense.]

[Nina sucks in a sharp breath, leaning back as she struggles to decide how to continue. She can't just leave this at a simple "yes". That wouldn't be fair to Konoha. Her eyes drop to her hands, absently tracing a line of stitching in her skirt, and she continues in fits and starts.]

I don't know how much he's told you about his life back home. We were... working together. We thought the worst of the job was over, and then he found me, and he'd been shot. If my powers had been what they were...

[If she was still a normal heartrender, she might have been able to save him.]

I don't know who did it. He refused to tell me.

I thought- I thought it was a lot...

[Matthias had been there since the day she'd arrived in Lunatia... and it hadn't been long at all before she'd latched on, considered him a friend... and then feared she'd messed everything up, there'd been the triple moons, the whole punching things, but also... a whole lot of good. Hadn't there been?

And he'd even called her his friend, eventually. But the whole time?

It feels incredibly selfish of her to cry over something like this, but she can't hold back that emotion any better than the others she'd displayed thus far, and a few plump, warm drops fall despite her best efforts, squeezing onto Nina's hands tighter. He'd just been dead the whole time, but just... not telling anyone? (Or maybe just her.)

But oh. Nina's hands. Her fingers. Hadn't they talked about-]

I was so stupid... That's why he got so sad looking when he talked about buying you a ring... I'm sorry, Miss Nina...

I'm sorry, Konoha.

[Konoha's tears make Nina's vision blur, because even though Matthias is here, she isn't done grieving. She hasn't even let herself think what it might mean if they find a way home, or how long this could or couldn't last. She squeezes Konoha's hands back, chest aching.]

You aren't stupid, you—

[Wait, a ring? Matthias talked about buying a ring?]

What ring?

No, you don’t be sorry...

[Despite her kindness, how much she meant well, Konoha was hardly without flaws, even as she fights back tears at the idea of Matthias being dead this entire time and just shouldering those worries by himself. She was even mostly aware of them... and one of them was being a blabbermouth. Afraid she’s said too much, Konoha almost clams up after, but-

But- He hasn’t said those feelings were a secret, right? If she made a promise, even though it was difficult, she kept her mouth shut. This time, though-]

We were just... we were talking about weddings once and when I asked what he’d do for you he talked about... a pretty ring and getting married under a tree...

[It had sounded wonderful to her... but there’d been such a cloud of sadness over him she’d fried to attribute to just missing Nina, but.

It had seemed to deep for just that. ... apparently it was.]

I didn’t know...

Edited 2019-10-26 04:05 (UTC)

Oh.

[It comes out shocked and quiet, and for the millionth time in the last few days, she doesn't know how to respond. Matthias had told her that he'd been thinking about the future with her before he'd been shot, but she hadn't really considered what that meant. Most of her fantasizing had taken place after, when she was alone and grieving at the Little Palace, and sometimes it had felt almost torturous. None of her dreams for them would ever be possible, after all, and even when she was at her most idealistic she knew it wouldn't have been easy. Neither of their countries would have accepted a drüskelle and a Grisha.

Hearing that Matthias was having the same thoughts is bittersweet. They're together here, and she'd die before she'd let anything change that, but she still isn't entirely sure what that means. Nina wipes her eyes, but that doesn't stop the ache of tears in her throat.]

He probably didn't want you to worry. He tries to shield people that way.

[Like he'd tried to shield her from the knowledge of who had killed him.]

That sounds right...

[After all, there'd always been a part of Matthias that was familiar to her, that reminded her of the man she'd loved. It was part of why she'd latched on so quickly when he'd helped her, more than just the comfort of being around someone who also felt alienated by the modern technology and foreign lights.

Because Gonta... He did the same thing.

And even if he didn't... Konoha doesn't even think about it, she just moves her hands from Nina's to try and enfold her in an embrace when she catches sight of her wiping a tear, the offer warm not only because of the higher body temperatures jinba ran at, but also because... moonlacing was like that. Nice and warm, even platonically like that.]

Why are men so stupid... ?

[Punching each other and lying about being dead...]

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