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[lumberlady]

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[loungelizard]

Oh, I wouldn't say that I know how to cook, really...I just find recipes and follow the directions!

[You'd think that this is the moment where he grows a sense of humility, but in reality, he doesn't actually realize there's a huge gap between the stages of "knowing the difference between charred and burnt", "able to identify a the purposes of each attachment of a stand mixer", and "able to make a gourmet meal with a basket of random ingredients and a half-hour time limit".

He thinks you only "know how to cook" when you get to the last one.]

[lumberlady]

Well, if it means you make food instead of going out and buying things other people cooked then I still think it’s good!

[way too many people eating unhealthily and lacking mama’s love cooking!!!]

[loungelizard]

Oh, don't get me wrong! I still love indulging in some good take-out. Usually as a treat, after my shows...

[After a beat, and then somewhat wistfully:]

It's nice to have someone else cook for you every so often.

[lumberlady]

I guess I like it, too! But there’s a difference between “someone” and... what’s it, “fast food”? I just worry... I know it’s easier but it doesn’t seem very good for you...

Shows? Are you a performer?

[loungelizard]

Meh, there are worse things you could do to yourself...

[Also he really genuinely loves eating garbage, too, so this half-hearted attempt to defend it is the best he'll do.]

Yeah! I have performances on Wednesdays at Club Tourmaline. The same place that Majima works!

[lumberlady]

[But Larry, the future world is full of amazing medical advancements, you can't let food kill you if you've conquered death from childbirth and getting a cut on your hand!!!]

Oh- "Club Tourmaline"! I think I heard Majima mention the name before... What kind of performance is it?

[She never actually asked him what sort of place it was...........]

[loungelizard]

[He's died from worse fates. Childbirth has not been one of them though....]

Oh, I--uh, do comedy routines...and dance...

[Okay, what's what this sudden frog in his throat? He's struck with the feeling that she's going to judge him for something that he puts a lot of passion and time into. Apparently he still has yet to get over all of his internal hangups.

After a moment of internal debate he realizes that even if she has some judgment to pass about this kind of thing, he's probably not going to lose much because this call really was just about getting raw cooking ingredients fresh from the source. At least, originally.]

I'm, um...a drag queen.

[lumberlady]

["Comedy" the likes of how people here meant it was much different from the storyteller based sort she was used to, but okay, dance makes sense! But-]

That's a weird word for a dancer... "drag queen"?

[Dragging doesn't sound very graceful...

She has actually met a drag queen in the past, a rather gorgeous amphibian person, but the term hadn't exactly come up. Oops.]

[loungelizard]

[Konoha might be surprised. He spends a lot of time writing stories to be the vehicle of his jokes.]

That's just what we call the practice of performing as an overly feminine character.

[At least, that's how he interprets it for himself.]

It doesn't necessarily have to be dancing.

[lumberlady]

[Can jinba butts fit in the club...]

What's "overly" feminine?

[Men performing as women she thankfully gets.]

[loungelizard]

[I mean, probably. It's pretty big. It's really just a question of moving a few tables around, right?]

Hmm...

[How does he define "overly" feminine?]

Have you ever seen a woman and wondered how long it took to put on her makeup?

[lumberlady]

Women don't wear the kinds of things people here do in my world, but... I think I know what you mean?

[Like... the colors and stuff, right? And bright red lips?]

[loungelizard]

Uh...

[Is she even more removed from the modern day than he is?]

Yeah -- like that, but reeeaaally overboard.

[lumberlady]

I think I understand what you mean!

... I guess I don't get why, but! I don't get a lot of things that aren't from Echigo. Thanks for explaining.

[................ way more removed.]

[loungelizard]

Eh, because it's fun.

[Does it need to be more elaborate than that?]

Well, what do the women from Echigo do to attract the attention of lovers?

[lumberlady]

[Fun is a nice reason to do things in Lunatia ig...]

L- lovers? I mean... you’re not supposed to advertise for lovers... But if it’s fashion you mean then... there’s hairstyles that make it clear you’re not married yet... and kimono patterns or how you tie your boi belt...

[loungelizard]

[....Japan?

Feudal Japan?

He's trying so hard to figure it out.]

Th-there are things that you do to try to catch someone's attention, right? Romantically?

[lumberlady]

Well, like... besides talk to them?

[She can’t think of a makeup thing aaaaa]

I mean... you can ask your family to talk to their family about a marriage meeting... ? Or... I know one girl who used to pretend her sandal strap had broken...

[loungelizard]

[wait

wait]

You have...arranged marriages?

[lumberlady]

... Yes?

Not always, but... it’s pretty common?

[loungelizard]

Oh.

[what to say what to say what to say...]

I'm sorry to hear that.

[LARRY.]

[lumberlady]

[wat]

Why are you sorry... ?

[loungelizard]

I mean -- being told who you have to spend your whole life with, instead of choosing your own?

Just seems like a kinda bum deal, is all.

[lumberlady]

Well, love is nice... I mean, I always wanted to marry for love, but. That's just how it is sometimes. Especially if you have money.

1/2

[loungelizard]