[Though Konoha hesitates a moment, wondering if she's pushing things or being too nosy, but in the end... her hoof twitches a bit in A2's lap, and she says it anyway.]
I guess no one needs a name, but.
[She has trouble imagining someone not wanting one.]
I know it's not my place, sorry. It just seemed- I don't know. If I was in trouble and my friend was calling for me... I'd want them to call "Konoha", not "jinba".
[A2, already quiet, seems to grow so much so that she sucks all the noise out of the room. The repetitive, soothing motion of her hand working the file along Konoha's hoof slows some.
She considers her answer. Nothing seems sufficient, but this time she is honest.]
I've never thought I deserved one.
[It's said without much inflection. She pauses, then resumes her work.]
[Konoha waits. This isn't a silence she likes, one you can relax and be at peace in... it eats at her, at A2, and she wants to break it... but she doesn't. A2 needs to be the one to do that.
And when she does... Konoha waits just a moment, just to let the words settle but not long enough to imply any sort of doubt.]
... You do deserve one.
[Even if it's not her opinion that matters. Even if A2 didn't believe it.
[In the months before, this conversation would not have even been considered. She would have dismissed it outright as worthless sentiment, pointless and unwanted. Today though, she has come to comfort Konoha of her own accord. Today, she was listening to her friend.
Her brow furrows. Often sadness takes its time to reach her: it's always easier to be angry, to feel nothing. Right now it lurks in the impassive flatness of her tone as she responds.]
For a moment, Konoha doesn't know which one she should say. This feels so important, it feels like if she says it wrong she might ruin things forever, and that's a heavy burden when you cared as much as she did about the result. About making it clear to A2 that she deserved so much more than what she thought she did.]
Everyone deserves a name...
[But it isn't just that, and her expressions twists somewhat painfully, so anxious to get across her meaning in a way that might resonate, that A2 might believe, that she almost seems on the verge of tears.]
Even if you hadn't been so kind to me, or helped people in this group... But you have, and you do. I know you said you're an android, but. You deserve everything a human person does. Everything a jinba does.
[There's a million things she can think to say to that. That she was designed to serve. That soon, inevitably, she would leave this place and be dropped back into her ruined Earth, and either the machines would kill her or 9S would.
It was easier, when she belonged nowhere, and nothing belonged to her. Existing was easier.
She doesn't say anything for a while. Eventually though... ]
You're not the one who gets to decide that other people's love is wasted on you.
[She doesn't know what this oath is, only has the nightmares of the void to give her hints of what A2's world must be like, but.
Her fingers tighen in an anxious knot, hearts swelling fit to burst with a sudden, strong affirmation. Wasted... Konoha was the one who got to decide if her time, effort, and affection were wasted on someone.
They weren't wasted now. She's sure of it.]
And I'm sorry, but-
[Not wanting to be remembered...]
I can't forget you. Even if you don't have a name.
[For Konoha's sake, A2 wishes she could forget her. It was always the remembering, that was hardest. It settled like stones on your chest. A2 had tried to destroy herself rather than experience it for longer than she had to.
She doesn't really know what to say. She wasn't meant to know this, to hear these things, to have someone care about whether she lived or died.]
...
[She sighs.]
No matter what I say, you're gonna think that, huh.
[For a second Konoha fears an argument, fears the rejection of what to her is simply the truth...
But in the end, A2’s answer has her visibly relieved, quickly wiping at any moisture threatening to spill from her eyes and nodding along, a smile beginning to break back upon her features. Anything less than that kind of answer... and it wouldn’t be very like A2, now would it?]
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no subject
[Though Konoha hesitates a moment, wondering if she's pushing things or being too nosy, but in the end... her hoof twitches a bit in A2's lap, and she says it anyway.]
I guess no one needs a name, but.
[She has trouble imagining someone not wanting one.]
I know it's not my place, sorry. It just seemed- I don't know. If I was in trouble and my friend was calling for me... I'd want them to call "Konoha", not "jinba".
i lost this...i'm so sorry
She considers her answer. Nothing seems sufficient, but this time she is honest.]
I've never thought I deserved one.
[It's said without much inflection. She pauses, then resumes her work.]
R U THO
And when she does... Konoha waits just a moment, just to let the words settle but not long enough to imply any sort of doubt.]
... You do deserve one.
[Even if it's not her opinion that matters. Even if A2 didn't believe it.
She's being honest, too.]
i am!
Her brow furrows. Often sadness takes its time to reach her: it's always easier to be angry, to feel nothing. Right now it lurks in the impassive flatness of her tone as she responds.]
Why do you think that?
no subject
For a moment, Konoha doesn't know which one she should say. This feels so important, it feels like if she says it wrong she might ruin things forever, and that's a heavy burden when you cared as much as she did about the result. About making it clear to A2 that she deserved so much more than what she thought she did.]
Everyone deserves a name...
[But it isn't just that, and her expressions twists somewhat painfully, so anxious to get across her meaning in a way that might resonate, that A2 might believe, that she almost seems on the verge of tears.]
Even if you hadn't been so kind to me, or helped people in this group... But you have, and you do. I know you said you're an android, but. You deserve everything a human person does. Everything a jinba does.
no subject
It was easier, when she belonged nowhere, and nothing belonged to her. Existing was easier.
She doesn't say anything for a while. Eventually though... ]
It's wasted on me.
[She was afraid.]
When I get back home, I'll fulfill my oath.
[She doesn't want to say what it is.]
When you have a name...
You're remembered.
But I don't want to be remembered.
no subject
[She doesn't know what this oath is, only has the nightmares of the void to give her hints of what A2's world must be like, but.
Her fingers tighen in an anxious knot, hearts swelling fit to burst with a sudden, strong affirmation. Wasted... Konoha was the one who got to decide if her time, effort, and affection were wasted on someone.
They weren't wasted now. She's sure of it.]
And I'm sorry, but-
[Not wanting to be remembered...]
I can't forget you. Even if you don't have a name.
no subject
She doesn't really know what to say. She wasn't meant to know this, to hear these things, to have someone care about whether she lived or died.]
...
[She sighs.]
No matter what I say, you're gonna think that, huh.
[It's a concession, not an argument.]
no subject
But in the end, A2’s answer has her visibly relieved, quickly wiping at any moisture threatening to spill from her eyes and nodding along, a smile beginning to break back upon her features. Anything less than that kind of answer... and it wouldn’t be very like A2, now would it?]
Yeah. ‘Cause that’s what friends do.